Welcome to my blog! My name’s Erin and I’m 18 years young. Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I am absolutely infatuated with fashion! I hope to one day work for a fashion magazine; Glamour or Teen Vogue would be my dream magazines to work for. In my free time I enjoy reading, music, movies, hanging out with friends, doing crossword puzzles, cooking, baking, doing hair and makeup, and styling outfits for my friends and family.
The reason behind me starting up this blog is quite a bumpy road. I am currently in recovery from anorexia and I thought that keeping a blog would be a nice therapeutic way to get my thoughts and emotions down since I can’t seem to commit to keeping a journal. I also hope that I may be able to help someone else out who is struggling through what I am. The whole root of my eating disorder was two of my best friends completely throwing me out of their lives. This led me to feeling completely out of control of my life, so I turned to a diet to try and regain a sense of control and I was hoping to lose a couple of pounds to feel better about myself. Well, what started out as a better concern for my diet and eating healthier turned into an obsession of restriction and dropping from about 130 pounds to 82.
When I actually realized that what my problem was was an eating disorder, I quickly decided that going to rehab was what I needed if I was going to live and get healthy again. So I talked to my parents and therapists and I packed my bags and was shipped out to Remuda Ranch. To say that this place changed my life would be an understatement. There, I was able to not only get clarification on the root of my eating disorder and how to treat it, I also got invaluable therapy with my family and I met amazing women who have had a permanent affect on my life.
When I got out of my one and a half months at Remuda, I was slipping pretty badly. I dropped from 98 pounds to 89 in about a month and a half. Today is the first day of my new program- Mom’s Boot Camp. My mother has decided to cash in her leave from work to stay home with me and make sure that I am sticking to my meal plan like I should be. It’s really hard to keep up with, but it’s what I need.
Aside from my parents, therapist and dietitian being here for me, I wouldn’t be able to make it through this rough road that is recovery without my closest friends. Amanda, if you somehow come upon this blog, I want you to know that you’re being amazing with helping me through this. I know it’s probably hard for her to understand what I’m going through (I mean, sometimes I don’t even know what’s going on!), but she’s amazing at just being there for me when I need her the most… like when I go in for a weigh in and ED is in there in my head screaming that I’m a complete failure and a fat cow when I see that my weight has gone up like it should be.
To wrap things up, I hope that this blog will help me keep track of my emotions and thoughts as I take things one day at a time. Hopefully it will also help me stay grounded and will give encouragement to other people who are struggling with an eating disorder (or even a serious case of perfectionism which I also suffer from) and let them know that things DO get better; all you need to do is give it your all and trust that the people who love you most will be there for you to pull out all the stops to help you get healthy and that in some cases, other people know what’s best for you and that you just need to trust them and give up the control to them.
Check back for more tomorrow!