Miserable Monday

Well today is my least favorite day of the week. To make things even worse, I have my history class on mondays. The teacher is SO unbelievably boring and the class goes by so slowly. I was practically falling asleep last night as I was trying to read from my textbook. I started off the day with French as usual and I got a quiz back that we took on Friday. I was really surprised that I didn’t get a 100 on it; I just sped through it and made stupid mistakes. I’ll have to take a little more time and pay more attention next time. Right now I’m waiting in the student center for my last class of the day to start which is Mass Media and Society. Last class we watched an episode of South Park so this time we’re going to discuss our analysis of it.

This past weekend was pretty fun. On Friday night I went to a party. I went with my friend Colleen to her friend’s house before the party and we hung out there for a while. I offered to be the designated driver so when we were ready to go, we loaded up my car and headed to the party. It got pretty big around 11:30. A lot of people were talking about how the cops were driving around and getting ready to show up any minute. I was getting pretty nervous, but everyone else wasn’t worried so that calmed me down some. We ended up hearing that one of the neighbors had called the cops so around 12:30 we headed out. I heard that later a lot of people left then came back and then the cops ended up showing up. On Saturday I went with Colleen to Hagerstown while she got a new tattoo. She got a mardi gras mask added on next to a fleur de lis on her hip. It looks really nice and it took almost three hours. Later that night was the dance. Around 8:30 I left with Amanda to head to one of the dorms to hang out and get ready. By this time, Isabel was causing a really light sprinkling of rain. Around 10:30 we heard about a party and decided to walk to that. By now it was raining really hard. When we left to go to the dance about an hour later it was pouring and we were literally dripping wet when we showed up to the dance. It was really fun. Granted, I was one of the few sober people there, but I still had a pretty good time. I danced with a couple people for most of the time. It was nice to know that people actually want to dance with me and that they find me somewhat attractive. It seems like every day my confidence grows and grows. Yesterday, Sunday, was a nice day to just wind down the weekend with. I went to the free Pilates and Yoga class downtown at Ananda Shala again. After that, I went to pick up stuff for the turkey wraps I was making for dinner. I was trying really hard to focus enough to read my history book but that just wasn’t going to happen. I much preferred to watch Curb Your Enthusiasm.

I’m really looking forward to tonight. I’m going out to get crabs for the second time this year but I’m upset that this will probably be the last time this summer that we’ll get them. 😦 I have a feeling that this week is going to go by slowly. I can’t wait to go to therapy this week. I get to do a body tracing and it should be eye-opening to see what I believe I look like and how close (or far) that impression is from the reality of my appearance. I’m pretty anxious about meeting my dietitian on Thursday. I’m pretty sure that I’ve reached my goal weight which means that my anxiety about not being able to stop gaining weight is basically through the roof. I don’t know why but I just do not want to hear it when I’ve reached that dreaded 115 pounds. It seems that as long as I have no idea what my weight is that I am fine with things, but the anxiety and nervousness starts building when I wonder what I weigh. Each time I go in for my weight check I have to tear my eyes away from the paper that they write my weight on and give me as a receipt; I have to fold it up into a tiny square to keep myself from looking at it. I just hope that one day I can be totally free of any of these terrible feelings that I get related to my weight and just be in acceptance of where my body wants it to be.

I am so beside myself with excitement for this weekend. I know that for sure Holly is coming to visit from Virginia and our other two friends from Remuda might come to visit, too. I have been planning a bunch of stuff for us to do while she’s here. I plan on taking her to one of my favorite restaurants, La Paz, which is downtown. I will probably take her to my favorite boutique, Velvet Lounge, also. That’s where I had my two-week internship at this summer. I just really hope that the other two women can make it, I haven’t seen them since March!

Well that’s all that I have to post for now, it’s almost time to head to class. I hope that I don’t let myself get too distracted with the internet in class :p


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