So Much Homework

Goodness, this history class is going to be my downfall. It took me 3 days to finish reading one chapter out of the book. I just looked at how many pages are in the chapter I have to read for tomorrow’s homework-30. 30! And it’s a really large book, too. Not cool, so not cool. It’s really sad how distracted I allow myself to get when I’m doing homework. I really need to stop having my computer open when I’ doing something else; I always seem to end up checking my facebook and twitter updates.

Aside from the extreme amount of homework I’ve had today, the day has gone pretty well. I had three classes today- French, Newswriting and Psychology of Women. I really enjoy my psych class and the teacher makes it really interesting with the discussions she holds. I was hanging out with Amanda and Colleen today after class when Amanda spotted one of our teachers from middle school. It made my day seeing her. That woman was such a terrible teacher. Everything the students did would irritate her. One day she was leaning over a desk to pick something up and completely flipped over it. It was HILARIOUS. Another time, a kid hid a carton of milk on top of one of her cabinets and over the weekend it spoiled and it absolutely reeked the next day and for the whole week, even though they’d taken it out of the room. Yet another prank someone pulled on her was when a kid took all the track balls out of the mice on her computers. She went crazy, crying, and called the terrible vice principal in to solve the issue. It was ridiculous. I can’t believe I still remember all that, it was over 6 years ago!

I swear, sometimes I am so forgetful. I had an appointment with my psychiatrist today but I got so wrapped up in homework that I totally missed it and didn’t realize until the doctor office secretary called me to get me to reschedule. I also made another appointment to see my dermatologist. It’s stressing me out a lot, lately I have been breaking out so much and it’s so irritating and embarrassing. I just wish I could grow out of this acne phase of my life already, I’m so done with it.

On another note, I am so over being single. I just wish that I could finally meet a nice guy to date. I can’t remember the last time that I had a boyfriend. I think it was in my junior year of high school. Wow. I feel like it’s just taking me so long to meet someone even though I’m doing all that I think that I possibly could. I’m hanging around campus a lot after my classes, I’m going to parties on the weekends and I’m meeting tons of new people yet no one has seemed to show an interest in dating me. This just always makes me think am I that unattractive that no one wants to date me? I know I’m probably off on that assumption, but it’s what my gut instinct tells me is true and it’s pretty hard to argue with.

I’ve been giving a lot of more thought to my decision to transfer to LIM. So far, I am really enjoying my time at Hood and I think that I have come to the conclusion that I’m going to wait to transfer until the fall semester next school year. I just have been thinking about it a lot lately and I am making a lot of new friends and I think it would be really hard to up and leave everyone and start over yet again in a new place. It will be a lot easier of a transition if I wait until the fall semester when there will be a lot more new students coming in, anyway. I will have to talk this over with my parents but I’m sure that they’d be ecstatic to hear that I’m considering waiting another semester. I bet my friends will love to hear that, too. Amanda might be moving in with us when her house sells, so I would hate for her to not have a place to stay if I moved out for the spring semester. I really think that it will take some more time than I have to assemble a treatment team for up there, too. I want to research a lot and make sure that I’m getting the best people to help me when I’m there rather than rushing and picking the first people who sound good just so that I can get things ready in time. I also will have to visit and make appointments to meet my potential team, which will take some arranging to do since I usually go up to New York on weekends and, naturally, no doctor’s office will be open on Saturday or Sunday. Even though I’ve given this quite a bit of thought, I am worried that when the spring semester comes, I will regret any decision I might make to stay here in stupid Frederick. I already regret not going to FIT when I had the chance even though I was at a MUCH more unstable place in my life than I am at now. Back then, I was under complete control of my eating disorder and didn’t even know it. Now, however, I feel that I hold the power of the eating disorder and can silence it most of the time.

Well that’s really all that’s on my mind right now. It’s time to get back, yet again, to the books and study for the rest of my night.

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