Getting Nervous

I’m going in for my weight check today. Although I still don’t look at the scale I am really nervous. I don’t know what I’m going to do if I have hit my goal weight. I am downright terrified that I will not be able to stop gaining weight. I am SO happy with my appearance right now and I don’t want anything to change about it. I asked Amanda if she could come with me and she sad that she would. That will help to lower my anxiety a lot. I honestly think that I might cry. Another reason I don’t want to get my weight checked is the outfit I’m wearing today. I have on my salmon colored J Brand cropped pants which just barely fit me anymore. I literally have to jump and dance around to get them up over my humongous thighs. I don’t know why I do it to myself, continuing to wear these pants when I get so upset putting them on but time after time I continue to don them. It’s probably because I get a lot of complements on them and I really like knowing that people envy the things that I have. I know how that sounds, but no one can argue with the rush that you get following a complement from someone. Really the only good thing that can come out of meeting my goal weight is that fact that my mom promised me the new iPhone 4 when I hit it. I am quite looking forward to that. It’s just really going to bother me knowing that I have reached that weight. It will definitely be a busy day in therapy when that time comes.

Today has been pretty uneventful. I am so excited for French class tomorrow. Our really good looking assistant is going to be teaching us in review for our test coming up on Friday. I know now that I just will not be able to pay attention at all to anything he instructs us. In boring old history we were watching a movie again about the impact of the potato and the slaves. I was super excited when my e-mail came from Gilt.com telling me what brands would be featured on their 12:00 sale. On the lineup was my favorite brand Free People. I promptly diverted my attention from the movie (man, it was SO hard to do :p) and pulled out my Gilt app on my phone. I remembered seeing a really cute black beaded dress on the preview to the sale a couple days ago and I was on a mission to find it. When I did find it, I did not hesitate for one moment to whip out my credit card and place an order. I didn’t want to wait to see if it was okay with my mom to order it because the best things on Gilt sell out within minutes and I knew that it would be gone (or the only ones left would be in a size XL or something like that) by the time I would get ahold of her. I can’t wait until it gets shipped to me; it should get to my house by the 8th, so it will be just in time for the beginning of fall.

Well I guess I’ll wrap things up for now. I’ll be sure to post again later to give an update on how the dreaded weigh-in goes. For now, it’s time to hit the books and get ready for class to start at 2.

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