A Load Off My Back

Today has been one of the best days that I have had in a really long time. Nothing could get me upset, not even the rain that started to fall. It’s days like this that make my journey through recovery so so worth the struggles that I face. I met with my dietitian today. It was wonderful to get to see her; for the past month or so I have just been meeting with her colleague, who is also wonderful, don’t get me wrong. I was really nervous about what she would say because I know that I am nearing my goal weight. I asked my mom last night if I had reached my goal and she said no, but that I am “really really close.” I just ran out of my weight gain supplements so I asked her what I should do about that. My mom didn’t think that it would be smart to order a whole new case of them, which costs about $50, because I probably wouldn’t need to use them all. I have already waisted so much money pouring those things down the drain, pretending to drink them, and I am not about to throw even more money away to the stupid Boost company. I was worried that she would want me to start eating more food to help gain the rest of the weight that I need to. I didn’t want this to be the outcome of our meeting because I knew that it would be hard to get in the habit of eating a lot and then having to just stop and go back to eating a normal amount. But, once again, it turned out that I was getting worried about nothing. She introduced me to a different Boost brand drink that I can tolerate drinking until I reach my goal. Unlike my resource drinks I can actually buy this stuff in a store.

The part about my therapy session that took that cake (no pun intended :p), though, was when my dietitian told me that she’d like to interview me sometime as a success story. That was so flattering. It’s great to have people recognize all the hard work and dedication that I’ve put in to my recovery and to know that things are starting to pay off. She is very proud of me for making so much progress; she said that most of what I have accomplished at home is what many people do while they are still in treatment. I am just so excited to get the chance to speak out about my struggle with this god forsaken eating disorder and I really hope that I can help other people that are going through the same thing I am. I want people to know that things do get better, you just have to take your time, celebrate each and every success and to know that this is a battle meant to be fought with the support of others, you can’t do this alone. Trust me, I tried, took a mighty slip, and only got through it with the help of my support team.

Classes today were pretty tolerable. In French, our assistant who is sooo good looking took over teaching us. Needless to say I was unable to pay attention to anything he instructed. News Writing was uneventful. Psychology of Women has gone from one of my more favorite classes to one of my least favorite. It still has interesting topics to learn about but my teacher really irritated me today. She doesn’t really like people to use laptops in her class because she believes that people will just distract themselves with them rather than taking notes. While this is probably true for a lot of people, it’s not true of me. There were two other people in class using their laptops and the teacher stopped her lecture to say something to the effect that we were getting too busy on them and that it was distracting to other people in the class and that if we wanted to continue that we take it out in the hallway. Um, I’m sorry that I type slightly loudly. Would you prefer me to not take notes on what you say in class? Because that’s all I was doing. Not only did that comment annoy me, but it made me worried that the teacher has the wrong impression of me now. I always worry about what people think of me and I don’t want to come across as someone who doesn’t pay attention in class because that is the total opposite of the type of person I am. Whatever. She’ll know that I am not waisting all my time on facebook during her class when she gets my assignments and can see that I actually pay attention.

Well that seems to be about all that’s on my mind right now. I will post back later!

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3 thoughts on “A Load Off My Back

  1. Offer to e-mail your notes to your teacher after class to prove that you’re paying attention and maybe she’ll let you keep using your laptop!

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