Just Call Me Dunce

I am one of the most stupid people I know. Today I thought that I had an appointment with my therapist at 2. I thought that was weird because I have class at that time, but I didn’t really think much of it and told my teacher that I wouldn’t be able to make it to class today because I would be at my appointment. Once I got to my therapist’s office, the receptionist who always recognizes me gave me a weird look. She opened up the window (which she never does) and asked who I was there to see. When I said I was there to see Beth she tld me that my appointment was actually yesterday. I felt so stupid. She said that she didn’t think she was meeting with anyone at that time so she would go back and talk to her and see what she could do. I took a seat in the waiting room and waited for Beth to come out. When she did, she was meeting another patient and told me that I will need to call back and reschedule.

This is just turning out to be really inconvenient. It’s always really hard to get in touch with her; we usually end up just playing phone tag and trying to arrange something through voicemails.Plus, I am really busy this week. Tomorrow I have class from 8:55-12:30, an appointment with my dietitian at 1:30, a fitting for a fashion show I’m in this weekend at 3:30. Friday I only have one class from 10:30-11:20 (which I have a test in, so I can’t miss it) and a run-through for the fashion show at 5. I could try and see if she can fit me in anywhere on Friday but I doubt that that’s going to happen.

This whole situation is just stressing me out. It has been more than two weeks since I have seen Beth and a LOT of stuff went down this past weekend that I really need to talk to her about. I mean, the situation could be worse. At least I’ve been able to talk to Amanda, Holly and Colleen about what’s going on and they’ve been really helpful. I was talking to Holly today and she suggested that I should see if I could do a phone session with Beth if she can’t fit me in any time soon. Also, I am meeting with my dietitian tomorrow so if I can’t wait any longer I can always talk to her about things even though I kind of value Beth’s opinion and insights more.

This week is going by really quickly. Yesterday was a mix of ups and downs. I got a study guide in my Psychology of Women class yesterday for a test that we have tomorrow. It’s 16 pages. Needless to say, it’s making me want to kill myself (don’t worry, I’m not suicidal- it’s just a figure of speech). I was working on the study guide for the majority of the day after I got out of class at 12:35 and I only got to page 7. I stayed up past midnight working on this stupid thing. It’s absolutely bananas. Yesterday Amanda texted me when she got out of class. I was at home and was dying to get out of the house; I was starting to go stir-crazy. She suggested that we go to Tutti Frutti for some frozen yogurt. If you know me at all, you do NOT have to ask me twice to go to Tutti Frutti. I drove out to Hood and picked her up and then headed over there.

What I love most about Tutti Frutti is that they change their flavors all the time. I normally wouldn’t think that I would like this because when it comes to eating, I typically have the same thing whenever I go out somewhere and refuse to try something new. I don’t know if this comes from my eating disorder, immediately categorizing any option on the menu as either “good and safe” or “bad and fattening” or if it’s just my strong preferences. Anyway, they had two flavors that I’ve never had before. I got mostly mint chocolate with a little bit of tiramisu on top.

When we sat down outside to eat, I thought that the people at the table next to us were all ugly men. Well, once again I was mistaken- it was a table full of lesbian women. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a lesbian, but for some reason it bothers me when I see girls out dressed and trying to look like boys and vice/versa.

After froyo, we headed back to campus. By then it was about 5:15. We went to the computer lab and were going to start working on homework and studying when we both thought of hilarious videos that we had recently seen online that we just had to show each other. Here’s one that Amanda showed me:
A Message For America From VH1s Jonny.
Please, please, please watch it all through to the end! I know it seems boring at first but trust me, it gets SO much better. I spent more of my precious time procrastinating and watching montage videos of Leon from Curb Your Enthusiasm. If anyone who was in the Apple Lab with me yesterday, I apologize for how loudly and uncontrollably I was laughing but I just couldn’t help myself. The videos are just so hilarious.

A little past 7:00, I decided it was time to get home and start making dinner. I was planning on making shrimp and asparagus risotto (see recipe page if you want to make it) and risotto always takes a really long time to make since it requires constant stirring. The previous day when I went shopping for the ingredients, I didn’t get the main ingredient, Arborio Rice, because I was certain that I had enough at home. Well, when I had already started making dinner, I went to the pantry to get the rice. I started measuring it out only to find that I had 1/4 of a cup when I needed 1 1/4 cups. I had to call my mom and ask her to pick some up from the grocery store on the way home. Because of that, she didn’t get home until 8:20 and we didn’t eat dinner until almost 9:00.

Yesterday in French class was pretty exciting. As usual, it was Tuesday so our assistant Tancrede was teaching the class. I am just so smitten with him, he’s adorable (even though he is dangerously close to having a unibrow). At the end of class my heart melted when he chose me out of everyone in the whole class to have a conversation with. It was the highlight of my day. After talking about him so much, Amanda has been curious about what he looks like. I decided that tomorrow when he teaches again I will try to sneak a picture of him when he’s not looking. I’m such a great paparazzi, so this should be easy as pie.

After classes when I was waiting to go to my therapist appointment, I happened upon a website about eating disorder resources. I saw that there’s a free eating disorder support group that will be forming soon, so I emailed the coordinator to get some information about that. I think that this would be a really good thing for me to get into. Not only would it be another way to vent my frustrations and get insight from other people, it would be nice to meet some more people who are going through similar struggles to what I am going through and to be able to talk to people who know what I’m going through and dealing with.

Well right now it’s 5:00 on the dot and I have no idea where the day has gone. After I had my stupid ordeal with therapy, I went back to campus for a little bit to start writing this blog entry. After that, I had to head over to get weighed at 3:15. I’ve been bad with sticking with getting weighed every week like I should be. It’s really hard to remember and find time to go with all the classes and homework that I have this semester. After getting weighed I had an appointment with my dermatologist at 4:15. I headed over to his office early, around 3:30, and planned on doing some studying while I waited for my appointment. Just as I was about to open up my backpack I was called back to a room where the doctor came in immediately. That man is so speedy! I was out of there by 3:45. I am so happy, he’s switching my medication for acne. Lately I have been breaking out a lot more than usual and he thinks it’s because I am building up a tolerance to the medication that I’m currently on. I have to go back in December to check back with him and make sure that things stay under control.

Once I left the dermatologist, I headed to the grocery store to fill my prescriptions and get stuff for the crab cakes that we’re making for dinner tonight. While I was waiting in line at the pharmacy, this woman in line in front of me was so weird. She looked like a legit witch and she was so impatient. She probably couldn’t wait to get her medicine so she could go home and concoct some weird potion hahaha.

After I got the groceries I needed I finally got home and here I am, writing my blog and putting off studying! I still have so much work to do on my study guide, it’s ridiculous. I am a little more than halfway through, though, so that’s always good. I just am dreading the rest of the night because I know that I’m going to be holed up in my room yet again working on homework the whole night. I will have to pause and take a break at 9:00 for my weekly dose of Modern Family; no way that I would miss that! I’m still holding out for the flash mob episode, so maybe I’ll get lucky and it will be on tonight!

Well that’s all for now, thanks for reading and check back later for more 🙂




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