Well the rest of the day has been good and bad. I met with my therapist for the first time in over three weeks. It was so great to get to see her again. To say that it was an emotional session is an understatement. I went through a fair amount of tissues. She really helped me sort out what has been going on lately and brought me a lot of clarity. She gave me some really great advice for how to deal with things and I have already started on the letter that she wants me to write and I am going to have Amanda read through it and see what she thinks before I send it to its recipient. Writing it made me feel so much better and cleared my mind so much even though it brought on the waterworks again. It’s okay to cry sometimes, though. It’s not good to just hold everything in all the time.
The end of my therapy session went wonderfully. We came to the conclusion that I no longer need ED as a coping mechanism for dealing with stress in my life. After this past incident that went on, I had no urges to revert back to restriction. I am so happy that each day I am breaking free from the hold that ED has on me. It is so wonderful to not have ED screaming in my head every minute of my life. My mind is home to my thoughts for the first time in ages.
I talked to my mom today and she said that she’s not feeling too well right now. I hope that she feels better by Friday when we go to New York City. Tomorrow if I’m not too busy, I am planning on going home to make her some chicken noodle soup.
Between classes we were talking about Halloween costumes. Amanda said that she was thinking about being an Avatar character and I said that if she was that then I would be this “costume” inspired by Roy Lichtenstien’s comic book artwork.
I hope that I have the courage to pull off something like this because I know I will go through the whole night explaining to everyone what I am. With my luck everyone will think I’m just someone with chicken pox or really terrible acne.
Tonight I went to a girl’s soccer game against Shepherd University. During half-time I went to get dinner with some friends. I had a biscuit, cauliflower soup and a salad. We went back to the game afterward and we ended up losing 😦 It was 1-4. Shepherd had one really good player on their team who kept getting control of the ball. After the game I came back to our room and me and my roommate decorated our door and bulletin board outside of our room. I had picked up some zebra print duck tape to put around it. Here’s a picture:
Later there was a floor meeting in my dorm. I still had yet to meet my RA because she was always out of her room whenever I would try to stop by, so I introduced myself to her when the meeting was over. She seems pretty nice. It was so cute- during the meeting, one girl’s boyfriend came up the stairs and brought her flowers. I was so jealous that I don’t have someone to do that for me. I am just biding my time, though. I know with patience someone will come along who wants to bring me flowers for no reason.
The rest of the night was pretty chill. I just did a little bit of homework and watched the Princess Diaries. I think I’m going to wrap things up now, though, and hop into bed and catch up on my magazines that I have been neglecting.