Bullseye

Today has been pretty up and down. Classes seemed to go by pretty quickly, so that was good. I turned in my paper for Psychology Of Women and I am really nervous about that. I don’t think I did too well on it. I didn’t make any references to the textbook or to the NPR audio that the teacher said was supplemental. I guess I will just have to wait and see how I do. The teacher said something about a rewrite, so I will probably be taking advantage of that since I’m pretty sure I did a poor job on it.

After class it was time to go see my dietitian. I had been really eager to go see her because I have been having a lot of body-image issues lately. It seems like the only thing I can see myself as is fat, chunky, flabby and disgusting. Those thoughts are obviously not good ones to be having at all. When I got there I told her about how I feel like I’ve been eating way too much and that I’m pretty sure I am over my target weight. She didn’t say anything about what my weight was other than she was “happy with where it’s at and wants to work on maintaining for now.” I took that a lot better than I expected, probably since I just had a gut feeling that things were around where they needed to be. We talked about plans for eating well while I’m in my dorm and said that I am going to get rid of the snacks in my room other than a few certain things so that I don’t have that temptation around me. I am hopeful that this new plan will work. I also brought back some lunch meat and bread with me so that I can make sandwiches for lunch instead of hoping for the best at the dining hall or paying an exorbitant amount of money for a stupid wrap or salad in the student center. We talked about my current exercise. Right now, other than walking around campus all I am doing is yoga once a week. I told her that I would really love to get back in the gym and start working out again; I feel like doing so would really help with my body-image struggles. She suggested that I keep up yoga once a week and go to the gym twice a week. I am really, really excited about this. Now when my friends ask me to go to the gym with them I don’t have to make up stupid excuses about having too much homework. I mean, come on. Everyone knows I don’t do homework. Ever.

Once I got out of my appointment I stopped off at home. In the mail, I was delighted to find two $1 off coupons from PopChips. About a week ago I sent them an email telling them how I love their product and it helped me be able to transition into snacking again and they said that they would send me coupons. I picked up a yoga DVD that I kept forgetting to bring back with me, a candle warmer so I can make our room smell like this delicious pumpkin candle I have, some supplies and the recipe for tacos tonight, and a metal “E” that I bought years ago and never hung up. I stopped at the grocery store and picked up the ground turkey and my favorite salsa for taco night tonight. On the way back to school, there were two cops behind me. I don’t know why, but I always get nervous whenever they are driving around me. I feel like they will just make up some stupid excuse to pull me over and then arrest me for something I never did. Whatever, it didn’t happen so that’s all I care about.

I can’t wait for tomorrow. I go to therapy around 1:30. Later, y friend Katie is coming home for the weekend so I’m going to see her for a bit tomorrow afternoon. Tomorrow night is the bonfire and corn maze. The school is providing busses there and back but I was talking to Amanda about it and she thinks that we’re all just going to go up separately. She said that she went last year and it’s really hard. I hope to God that I don’t get lost in it. I don’t do too well in situations like that, I tend to panic very easily. I hope that other fun stuff is going on this weekend, too. There will probably be some parties going on that will happen last minute, so I’m holding out for that. On Saturday my mom’s work is having their family day picnic thing. As usual, we are going to be running the face painting table. The planners are expecting thousands of kids to be coming so it should be quite interesting. I talked to my mom today and she said that there will be 8 people face painting with us. That should help to keep things under control. Also, we have much less options for what the kids can get done, so that should help to speed things up with the decision process. One of the things I am not looking forward to, however, is getting up for this event. My mom is picking me up at 7:00, so that means I have to get up no later than 6:30. I can’t even remember the last time I got up that early. So not fun. And, I am unable to ever fall asleep in the car, so I better have some strong coffee to help keep me up (not that I ever feel a caffeine buzz, but there’s a first time for everything, right?).

Right now I am just sitting around trying to decide what to do with my time. I mean, I have reading to do as always and I have two tests coming up next week, so I guess I could study for those but it’s just so boring and I don’t want to. I know, I really need to read my dumb ass James Madison book so I will get on that. Thanks for reading 🙂

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