2011 Going Out With A Bang

Right now I am at my friends’s apartment getting ready to go out for the night to celebrate the new year. I had two outfits lined up to wear but neither worked out. The first choice was a grey/silver pleated skirt, white tank top and sparkly blue tights. The skirt didn’t look too good but I was okay with it. Then I saw the GIANT run in my tights going the whole length of my leg. Not okay. I then decided to switch into my other option, a frilly pale pink wrap dress. It used to be too big on me back when I was sickest and now it barely fits anymore. That option was out and now I have settled on a gold and black body con strapless dress that is a friend’s. I’m just not pleased with my appearance tonight. I feel fat and huge and I know no one will find me attractive. I am dreading taking pictures because I know I will look like “the ugly friend” next to all the gorgeous friends that I am with. I just want this night and year to be over. I want to start over in 2012, getting back to my goal weight and shaping my body into a form that I can be somewhat satisfied with.

Well that’s all. I just wanted to rant for a bit and get those thoughts off my mind as much as possible so I can somewhat enjoy my night.

I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe new years!


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