Clear Skies

This past week has just been so extremely liberating. Working with my personal trainer has done wonders for my body image. My body is transforming into what it was when I was at my peak physical shape and I love it. I have a body that I can be proud of. A body that I know is strong and will be able to sustain me. I can see my body changing before my eyes and I love the form that it’s taken on. I can see the definition in my muscles and it’s wonderful. It shows off the hard work that I have put in and the nourishment that my body has. This past week I have been able to fully accept and like my body for the first time in a very long time. I recognize that there are parts of my body that I wouldn’t mind improving, like my unflat stomach, but they don’t bother me. 

Javier has been instrumental in getting me to accept my body. Each and every day he reminds me about how beautiful I am and how lucky he is to have me. When we cuddle, he tells me that I don’t need to suck in my stomach or worry about not having makeup on. He doesn’t care when I get pimples or have messy, ratty hair. It is so healthy for me to be with him. 

Aside from body image I think about what I will have to talk to my therapist and dietitian about. And nothing comes to mind at all. I don’t cower at the thought of eating a pulled pork sandwich and french fries for dinner or having a milkshake on a hot summer day. Nothing really stresses me out or triggers me and and when those rare occasions do occur, I know how to recognize them and stop them from creating a problem. 

Is it too far to say that I am recovered at this point?

I don’t want to jinx anything, but I truly feel that way in my heart. 

In that case, I may not be posting very much, like I haven’t been lately. This blog was my outlet for my stresses about my eating disorder and now I feel free from the clutches of it. I hope that I have inspired other people to break free from anything that is holding them back from living their lives the way they should be lived. 


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